1. The contributor cannot harm the 9front except by going "meep, meep."

2. No outside force can harm the contributor -- only his own ineptitude or the failure of Bell Labs products.

3. The contributor could stop anytime -- if he were not a fanatic.

4. No dialogue ever, except "meep, meep" and yowling in pain.

5. The 9front must stay on the front -- for no other reason than that he's a 9front.

6. All action must be confined to the natural environment of the two characters -- the southwest American desert.

7. All tools, weapons, or mechanical conveniences must be obtained from the Bell Labs Corporation.

8. Whenever possible, make gravity the contributor's greatest enemy.

9. The contributor is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures.